Bo Burnham Quotes
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
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I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
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I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the answer for me. "Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?" I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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People are gonna think that MTV censored me, and they really didn't. I really wanted to try to make a show that didn't rely on offensive, edgy material because I think it was an exercise in trying to write without that. Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
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I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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At the time of 'Words, Words, Words,' I'm a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he's entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that's inherently a little bit ridiculous.
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I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.
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There's a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that's a bit blurred in my mind.
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When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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Love is all about... whistles.
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Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
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Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you're on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don't want to be onstage looking like a robot, I want to be at the end of the day very emotional and what feels like someone being up there rather than reciting things. That's always the challenge, to analyze and then somehow lose yourself in something you absolutely know backwards and forwards. And nothing's going to surprise you, but you have to be surprised by it and let it surprise you.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.'
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
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Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
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Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
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I think no matter what you do, a certain amount of people are going to call you a sellout, somehow, you know. If I ever start trying to make a living on it.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
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The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That's an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes. I try to be strong about it and assure myself that only my close friends and family can really pass judgement on me personally, but it's impossible to not let it get to you.
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