Funny Witty Quotes
The best sayings about Funny Witty that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
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If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
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Two wrongs don't make a right.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
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I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
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The problems that exist in this world can not be solved by the level of thinking that created them.
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He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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All my friends are funny, witty, fun-loving people. As are my parents, and the people I work with. I get at least a couple of good laughs in every day.
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I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality.
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If you can't convince them, confuse them.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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I can resist everything except temptation.
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Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway.
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I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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