Denis Leary Quotes
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Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true.
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Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do.
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I'm one of the people that when I wake up I have to do what I do. It's not like I want to do it. I kind of have to do it.
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If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.
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I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will.
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When you write about real life, there's always a chance that somebody involved is going to see it and get upset.
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"Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"
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My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.
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I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.
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The thing with movies is, because you have so little time, I always feel like there are more things we could've done with the character. If we'd done a sequel to 'The Thomas Crown Affair,' what would that have been like? But for the most part, you try not to think of that, because it's just going to break your heart.
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I wasn't the best student. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention.
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I just think it's difficult for them to see the forest for the trees right now, which I can't blame them for, given the circumstances they found themselves in.
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If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.
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Everything you look at now, the scripts that come in that you look at, the television scripts are way better than the movie script. The talent is going to television.
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All knowledge is ultimately rooted in metaphorical (or analogical) modes of perception and thought.
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I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time.
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This is the most exciting place in the world to live. Oh yeah! There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky.
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I studied acting in school and then of course couldn't get an acting job.
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Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads.
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I don't want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy.
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The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.
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I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare.
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When I was a teenager, you couldn't get straight pants. Then in '76, when punk started to hit, it was a revelation that you could find straight pants again.
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I'm the enemy. Because I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, the freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of BBQ ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and buskets of cheese, okay? I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal?
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There's nothing wrong with an actor that can't improvise, but if you're going to improvise, you gotta make sure you got people that can play the game.
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When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with "No Cure For Cancer."
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I wanted to be a hockey player. Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. I was terrible in school and actually said, 'I'm going to be a hockey player.'
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I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff.
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I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.
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There's no way around it, drama is very difficult to shoot. It's very heavy and something that you carry with you for the course of the day.
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