George Burns Quotes About Comedy
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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