Jeff Foxworthy Quotes About Comedy
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
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I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
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Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.
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I love comedy. God has given me this platform.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
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I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
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That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
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